The famous nineteenth-century actress named Rachel was dining with the Comte Duchatel, a wealthy aristocrat, in 'his house in Paris one evening, when she noticed the magnificent solid silver centre-piece on the table. She made so many flattering remarks about it that the Count offered to make her a present of it. She accepted it
eagerly, but realizing that she had no means of travelling home in safety with it, she asked the Count if he might lend her his carriage. He agreed to this with only one proviso:
'You will send back my carriage, won't you?' he asked.
He made all his money the hoard way.
Getting out of a cab one evening Lord Rothschild handed the driver a coin as a tip. But the man looked at it scornfully and said that his lordship's son had given him five times as much only the night before.
'That may be so,' said Rothschild, 'my son has a millionaire for a father, I haven't.'
She believes that charity begins at home and shouldn't be allowed to spread anywhere else.
The legendary operatic tenor. Enrico Caruso, met the famous contralto Ernestine Schumann-Heink in a restaurant in Milan one lunch-time, in a break between rehearsals at La Scala. The lady was about to tuck in to an enormous steak and Caruso said to her:
'You're surely not going to eat that alone?' 'No. not alone,' she replied, 'with potatoes.'
She blames her size on surplus gone to waist.
After a bitterly cold round of golf Sir Harry Lauder, the famous Scots singer, thanked his caddie for his services and handed him something saying:
'Take this for a glass of warm whisky.'
When he'd gone the caddie opened his hand and found a sugar lump.
Even if you gave him poison he wouldn't die until he'd recovered the deposit on the bottle.
Alfred Hitchcock was invited to lunch by a stingy hostess who provided what he considered to be a very insufficient lunch. While the coffee was being served after the meal, the lady said to the portly director:
'I hope you will come and have lunch again here soon.'
'By all means,' said Hitchcock. 'Let's start now.'
That man will eat anything that doesn't bite first.