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Can I chat up lines and their put downs

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Trying to be Romantic

Can I borrow ten pence? I want to call my mother and thank her.
I'd complain if I were you.

Can I borrow your phone?
Why?
My ex told me to call when I fell in love again.

Can I count on your vote?
I doubt if you can even count.

Can I fill you up, madam?
Unleaded, please.

Can I flirt with you?
I was hoping to meet someone a little younger. People might think you're my mother.

Can I have a tinkle on your piano?
I'd rather you used the toilet.

Can I introduce you to my dog, Raffles?
Oh, isn't he big? Can I stroke him?
Of course. Would you like to stroke Raffles as well?

Can I phone you for a date? What's your number?
It's in the phone book.
But you haven't told me your name.
That's in the phone book, too.

Can I take you on a shopping trip?
Wouldn't you rather just take me in bed?

Can I tickle your tonsils?
I think the surgeon has chucked them out.

Can I wash your car for you?
I don't think your hose would reach.

Reproduced by kind permission of Summersdale Publishing Ltd.

Summersdale have a wide range of humour books available at Amazon - click here to view "Bumper Book of Chat Up Lines"


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