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I'm a chat up lines and their put downs

CATEGORIES
Bit Mean...
Blatant Innuendo...
Can I...
Clichés...
I'm a...
Miscellaneous...
Short & Sweet...
Trying it on...
Trying to be Romantic

I'm a doctor: what's your appendix doing tonight? I'd love to take it out.
Very funny. You should be on the television then I could turn you off.

I'm a magician. Would you like me to perform a spell for you?
OK, can you make yourself disappear?

I'm a meteorologist, and I'd like to study your warm front. Let's go to an isobar and have a drink.
No thanks - I've seen the forecast. Damp in parts, hot and sticky with rising cumulonimbus. I think I'll stay at home.

I'm a musician. I'm famous for what I can do with my little piccolo.
That's nice. Did you say you were a musician as well?

I'm a photographer for a model agency: I've been looking for a face like yours.
I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

I'm a postman, so you can rely on me to deliver a large package.
Sorry, but I need someone who comes more than once a day.

I'm considering chucking my girlfriend for you. How do you feel about that?
But I don't want your girlfriend.

I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm hairy, I'm smelly, and I fart like a wind tunnel. But I'm bloody rich.
I don't want you thinking I'm just after your money, darling. What's your name?

I'm trying to break the world kissing record for snogging the most beautiful women in one evening. Can I kiss you?
Yes, but only because I'm trying to snog as many ugly men as possible tonight, and you would be worth double points.

Reproduced by kind permission of Summersdale Publishing Ltd.

Summersdale have a wide range of humour books available at Amazon - click here to view "Bumper Book of Chat Up Lines"


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