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Insults and Putdowns for everyday use - Pick up Putdowns

Heckler Put-downs
I'll Ignore You
Intelligence ?
Pickup Put-downs

Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Woman: It's in the phone book.
Man: But I don't know your name.
Woman: That's in the phone book too.

Man: Haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm one of the nurses at the VD clinic.

Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account and credit cards.

Man: Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there any more.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
Woman: Waiting for some idiot like you to come along and bore me to tears with pathetic lines.

Man: Your place or mine?
woman: Both. You're going to yours, and I'm going to mine.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey, come on baby, we're both here at this bar for the same reason.
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Woman: No parking.
Or: Danger of death.
Or: No Entry

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised.

Man: So, d'ya wanna go back to my place?
Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Man: Can I buy you a drink?
Woman: Thanks, I'll have champagne. Leave it at the bar for me and I'll pick it up later.

Man:I'm here to fulfil your every sexual fantasy.
Woman: You mean you can lend me a donkey and a great dane?

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: There are no services today.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: Yeah, but if I saw YOU naked, I'd die laughing.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Wonderful Will you stay there, too?

Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap, nasty gifts.

Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: You're so right. I want you to go away.

Man: Hey babe, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?
Woman: Sorry, I don't date outside my species.


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