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How to be Insulting about Birthdays

'I was born between twelve and one o'clock on 1st January, isn't that strange?' said one proud fool to John Wilkes.

'No not at all,' Wilkes answered, 'you could only have been conceived on 1st April.'

To her way of thinking birthdays are occasions when her husband takes a day off and she takes a year off.

She always remembers her age exactly she ought to, it's been the same since she was thirty-nine.

She's finally admitted her age, though she forgot to say how many years ago she reached it.

I always say that the best years of a woman's life are the ten years between thirty and thirty-one.


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