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How to be Insulting about Drunks

He's ruined his own health drinking to everyone else's.

There's nothing that forces him to drink as much as he does—he's a willing volunteer.

He maintains that he's got such a delicate stomach that he can't eat cherries unless they're sterilized in alcohol.

He's the sort of man who will always blame his hangover the following day on the lemon which was 'off in his gin the night before.

If you ask what is his favourite drink, he'll always tell you 'the next one'.

When he's offered spirits he always drinks doubles and sees the same way.

He always maintains that the best way to pull yourself out of your troubles is with a corkscrew.


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