How to be Insulting about Incompetence
To an orchestral player:
'We cannot expect you to be with us all the time, but perhaps you would be kind enough to keep in touch now and again.' — Sir Thomas Beecham
Noel Coward once described a director with whom he had worked as a young man thus:
'He directed rehearsals with the airy deftness of a rheumatic deacon producing Macbeth for a church social.'