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How to be Insulting to the Tailor

This suit fits very well where it touches.

Do you get many Siamese twins coming here for clothes?

It's kind of you to anticipate my shape in forty years time, but what makes you think this suit is going to last that long?

Business a bit slack is it? I haven't seen a suit like that since my demob one.

I wanted an alteration done not an amputation.

Are you sure when you measured me that you didn't confuse my arms with legs?

By Royal Appointment? Who on earth to? King Alfred?


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