I love looking in the mirror admiring my looks, do you think that's vanity ?
No, just a vivid imagination
Do you notice how my voice fills the hall ?
Yes, and did you notice how many people left to make way for it ?
I can play piano by ear
And I can fiddle with my toes
When I was a sailor I sailed across the Atlantic both ways without even taking a bath
I always said you were a dirty double crosser
Have you got a quarter, I want to phone a friend
Here have 50, phone them all
How do you find my breath ?
Offensive, it's keeping you alive
He's good at everything he does
And as far as i can see he usually does nothing
Boys fall in love with me at first sight
Bet they change their minds when they look again though
We should try and fight air pollution
You could start by stop breathing
Do you find me entertaining ?
I'd say you were too dim to entertain a thought
Shall I put the TV on
Well it would certainly improve the view in here