How to be Insulting at Health Centres or Surgeries
Cough as loudly and unpleasantly as you can all the time.
Pick out all the most up-to-date and interesting magazines and make a pile of these by your seat while you wait.
Go in wearing a surgical mask, sit by the window and open it, to avoid breathing the infected air.
Sit and scratch non-stop until you are called in to see the doctor.
Take off your shoes and socks and carefully examine in between your toes. Colouring in some unmentionable complaint on the soles of your feet can add to the effect.
Enter a large waiting-room full of people wearing a badge marked B.U.P.A.
Take a suspicious looking bag with you and arrange for an even more suspicious looking liquid to drip from it on to the floor.
When you leave the doctor's room rush straight to the lavatory and make violent retching noises from inside.