How to be Insulting on Public Transport
Sit in the seats reserved for the elderly or infirm and don't budge from them until you are forcibly thrown off the bus or tube.
Smoke in the No Smoking compartments. Pay for every bus fare with a £10.00 note.
Travel during the peak periods with huge boxes and parcels and put these on seats next to you when you sit down.
Pretend to be foreign when the conductor asks for your fare and keep giving the wrong money. If you are only going a short distance, you might be able to get off without paying at all.
When travelling with British Rail spend as long as you can in the lavatory, particularly if you haven't got a seat.
Order a cheap lunch, eat a couple of mouthfuls and ask for a doggie bag. Then throw the whole lot out of the window as you go out.
Do what you're not supposed to do when the train is stationary. This applies to standing in a station especially.
On a crowded underground train lean against another passenger, or hang on to someone's tie.