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How to be Insulting in the Street

Walk along as if you have stepped in something un-pkasant, by pretending to scrape your feet along the pavement or rubbing your soles on any available patches of grass. Then look daggers at anyone walking a dog.

Find a bus-stop with a waste-bin attached to it. Hide a small bottle of champagne and a leg of chicken in the bottom. Wait for a queue to form at the bus-stop. Then go and rummage in the gutter and finally look in the bin. Find the things you've hidden and devour them in front of the people waiting for the bus.

Approach a complete stranger as if you are about to welcome them warmly, but instead walk straight past and disappear into a shop.

Wave frantically across the street to people who are trying to ignore you and try to attract as much attention to them as you can.

Step on to a zebra crossing just as a car is accelerating towards it. Leave enough room for the car to brake, but make sure that it has to come to a complete halt while you cross. You could try dropping something on the crossing, like a bag of Brussel sprouts. Picking them up will infuriate any irate motorist.


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