insults.net, insults, insulting quotes & quotationswant to say something better than #!?~!*##!


random insult generator

How to swear in foreign languages

The Importance of Being Earnest - The Insults of Oscar Wilde

Algernon: The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Modern life would be very tedious if it were either, and modern literature a complete impossibility!
Jack: That wouldn't be at all a bad thing.
Algernon: Literary criticism is not your forte, my dear fellow. Don't try it. You should leave that to people who haven't been at a University. They do it so well in the daily papers.
An engagement should come on a young girl as a surprise, pleasant or unpleasant, as the case may be.
And now that I think of it I have never heard any man mention his brother. The subject seems distasteful to most men.
But even men of the noblest possible moral character are extremely susceptible to the influence of the physical charms of others. Modern, no less than Ancient History, supplies us with many most painful examples of what I refer to. If it were not so, indeed, History would be quite unreadable.
By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.
Cecily: This is no time for wearing the shallow mask of manners. When I see a spade I call it a spade.
Gwendolen: I am glad to say that I have never seen a spade. It is obvious that our social spheres have been widely different.
Gwendolen: I had no idea there were any flowers in the country.
Cecily: Oh, flowers are as common here, Miss Fairfax, as people are in London.
Gwendolen: Personally I cannot understand how anybody manages to exist in the country, if anybody who is anybody does. The country always bores me to death.
Cecily: Ah! This is what the newspapers call agricultural depression, is it not? I believe the aristocracy are suffering very much from it just at present.
He was eccentric, I admit. But only in later years. And that was the result of the Indian climate, and marriage, and indigestion, and other things of that kind.
Her mother is perfectly unbearable. Never met such a Gorgon...
Hesitation of any kind is a sign of mental decay in the young, of physical weakness in the old.
I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can't go anywhere without meeting clever people. The thing has become an absolute public nuisance.
I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone.
I don't play accurately - anyone can play accurately - but I play with wonderful expression. As far as the piano is concerned, sentiment is my forte. I keep science for Life.
I have always been of the opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.
I have often observed that in married households the champagne is rarely of a first-rate brand.
I love hearing my relations abused. It is the only thing that makes me put up with them at all.
I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result.
If one plays good music people don't listen, and if one plays bad music people don't talk.
In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity, is the vital thing.
It is always painful to part from people whom one has known for a very brief space of time. The absence of old friends one can endure with equanimity. But even a momentary separation from anyone to whom one has just been introduced is almost unbearable.
It is my last reception, and one wants something that will encourage conversation, particularly at the end of the season when everyone has practically said whatever they had to say, which, in most cases, was probably not much.
It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties.
Jack: I'll bet you anything you like that half an hour after they have met, they will be calling each other sister.
Algernon: Women only do that when they have called each other a lot of other things first.
Jack: My dear Algy, you talk exactly as if you were a dentist. It is very vulgar to talk like a dentist when one isn't a dentist. It produces a false impression.
Algernon: Well, that is exactly what dentists always do.
Land has ceased to be either a profit or a pleasure. It gives one position, and prevents one from keeping it up.
Miss Prism: No married man is ever attractive except to his wife.
Chasuble: And often, I've been told, not even to her.
Never speak disrespectfully of Society, Algernon. Only people who can't get into it do that.
No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating...
Really, if the lower orders don't set us a good example, what on earth is the use of them? They seem, as a class, to have absolutely no sense of moral responsibility.
Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die.
The amount of women in London who flirt with their own husbands is perfectly scandalous. It looks so bad. It is simply washing one's clean linen in public.
The fact is that men should never try to dictate to women. They never know how to do it, and when they do it, they always say something particularly foolish.
The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what Fiction means.
The home seems to me to be the proper sphere for the man. And certainly once a man begins to neglect his domestic duties he becomes painfully effeminate, does he not? And I don't like that. It makes men so very attractive.
The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her, if she is pretty, and to someone else, if she is plain.
The two weak points in our age are its want of principle and its want of profile.
The two weak points in our age are its want of principle and its want of profile.
The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square.
Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years. Lady Dumbleton is an instance in point. To my own knowledge she has been thirty-five ever since she arrived at the age of forty, which was many years ago now.
Three addresses always inspire confidence, even in tradesmen.
To be born, or at any rate bred, in a hand-bag, whether it had handles or not, seems to me to display a contempt for the ordinary decencies of family life that reminds one of the worst excesses of the French Revolution.
To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
To speak frankly, I am not in favour of long engagements. They give people the opportunity of finding out each other's characters before marriage, which I think is never advisable.
What on earth you are serious about I haven't got the remotest idea. About everything, I should fancy. You have such an absolutely trivial nature.
When a man does exactly what a woman expects him to do she doesn't think much of him. One should always do what a woman doesn't expect, just as one should say what she doesn't understand.
When one is in town one amuses oneself. When one is in the country one amuses other people.
You don't seem to realise, that in married life three is company and two is none.
You have a town house, I hope? A girl with a simple, unspoiled nature, like Gwendolen, could hardly be expected to reside in the country.

Copyright Notice - Email this page to a friend

Visit the HumourHub.com site