From the TV Series Red Dwarf

Episode - Balance of Power

Lister: Holly, why Rimmer's hologram? Why did you have to bring Rimmer's hologram back? He was the most unpopular man on board this ship. I mean, he even had to organise his own surprise birthday parties.

Holly: And who should I have brought back, then?
Lister: Anyone. Chen. Petersen. I mean, Hermann Goering would have been more of a laugh than Rimmer. I mean, OK, he was a drug-crazed transvestite, but at least we could have gone dancing!

Lister: What about Kristine Kochanski? You could have brought Kristine back.
Holly: In your entire life, your shared conversations with her totalled 173 words.
Lister: So?
Holly: In terms of wordage, you actually had a better relationship with your rubber plant.

Rimmer: Good evening, you stupid, stinking, festering, gimboid of a cat

Lister: You'll have to salute me, Rimmer! You'll have to call me "sir!" You'll have to give me Kochanski! And me cigarettes!
Rimmer: And on that day, Lister, Satan will be skating to work.

Rimmer: And whose ears are these, Holly? They're like two giant radar dishes stuck higgledy-piggledy to the side of my head. I mean, just look at them! Look at them! Whose were these ears, Holly? An African elephant's?
Holly: They're your ears, Arnold

Rimmer: And Lister, what's this? Learning drugs? They're illegal, matey! I'm afraid you're in very serious, grave, deep trouble, Lister. Where did you get them? I want names. I want places. I want dates.

Lister: Arnold Rimmer. His locker. This morning

Rimmer: You've got the brains of diarrhoea and the breeding of a maggot.

Rimmer: You always become the thing you hate the most. Look at you, Lister. Obnoxious, ruthless, single-minded, insensitive. You're more like me than I am.

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