How to be Insulting about Clothes
In the days when full-length gloves were still commonly worn, two ladies met in the street. One of them was clad in elegant, white, kid gloves, which the other one loathed. Touching one with her hands she said in disgust:
'Skin of a beast.'
'Well, what do you wear?' asked the one with the gloves.
'Silk, of course,' the other replied.
'Entrails of a worm,' retorted the lady with the gloves.
That woman looks as if she dresses with a pitchfork in the morning.
The journalist, Heywood Broun, was famous for his shabby, dishevelled appearance. He was among a group of journalists introduced to General Pershing on one occasion. The general spoke politely to them in turn, but when he came to Heywood Broun, all he could say was:
'Have you fallen down, Mr. Broun?'