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Insults and Insulting Quotes about the USA

Around the World
United States

I am willing to love all mankind, except an American
Samuel Johnson

America is one long expectoration
Oscar Wilde

The American has no language, he has a dialect, slang, provincialism, accent and so forth
Rudyard Kipling

Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up
Oscar Wilde

America is the only nation in history which has gone miraculously gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation
Georges Clemenceau

If there was ever an aviary overstocked with jays it is that Yaptouwn on the Hudson called New York
O. Henry on New York

If your going to America, bring your own food
Fran Lebowitz

When you become used to never being alone, you may consider yourself Americanised
Andre Maurois

No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public
HL Mencken

If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell
General PH Sherican

California is a fine place to live. if you happen to be an orange
Fred Allen

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz
William Mizner

It was wonderful to find America, put perhaps it would have been more wonderful to miss it
Mark Twain

All American writing gives me the impression that Americans don't care for girls at all. What the American male really wants is two things: he wants to be blown by a stranger while reading a newspaper and he wants to be fucked by his buddy when he's drunk. Everything else is society.
W. H. Auden, British poet, in The Table-Talk of W. H. Auden, Alan Ansen, 1990

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.
G. K. Chesterton, British novelist, poet and critic

Their ... demeanour is invariably morose, sullen, clownish and repulsive. I should think there is not, on the face of the earth, a people so entirely destitute of humour, vivacity, or the capacity of enjoyment.
Charles Dickens, British novelist

The American nation in the sixth ward is a fine people; they love the eagle on the back of a dollar.
Finlay Peter Dunne, US humorist

No one can be as calculatedly rude as the British, which amazes Americans, who do not understand studied insult and can only offer abuse as a substitute.
Paul Gallico, US writer

Knavery seems to be so much the striking feature of its inhabitants that it may not in the end be an evil that they will become aliens to this country.
George III, British monarch

The organisation of American society is an interlocking system of semi-monopolies notoriously venal, an electorate notoriously unenlightened, misled by a mass media notoriously phoney.
Paul Goodman, US writer, The Community of Scholars, 1962

Sir, they are a race of convicts and ought to be grateful for anything we allow them short of hanging.
Dr Samuel Johnson, British critic, poet and lexicographer, quoted in James Boswell, Life of Samuel Johnson, 1791

The American has no language. He has dialect, slang, provincialism, accent and so forth.
Rudyard Kipling, British writer and poet

If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz, US writer, Social Studies, 1981

Americans are people who laugh at African witch doctors and spend 100 million dollars on fake reducing systems.
L. L. Levinson, US writer

There won't be any revolution in America ... the people are too clean. They spend all their time changing their shirts and washing themselves. You can't feel fierce and revolutionary in a bathroom.
Eric Linklater, British writer, Juan in America, 1930

The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide open spaces surrounded by teeth.
Charles Luckman, US writer

Question: If you find so much that is unworthy of reverence in the United States, why do you live here?
Mencken: Why do men go to zoos?
H. L. Mencken, US essayist, philologist and critic, Prejudices, 5th series, 1926

The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some.
P. J. O'Rourke, US writer, Parliament of Whores, 1991

The national dish of America is menus.
Robert Robinson, British television and radio personality

Frustrate a Frenchman, he will drink himself to death; an Irishman, he will die of angry hypertension; a Dane, he will shoot himself; an American, he will get drunk, shoot you, then establish a million dollar aid programme for your relatives. Then he will die of an ulcer.
S. A. Rudin, Canadian psychologist

America ... where laws and customs alike are based on the dreams of spinsters.
Bertrand Russell, British philosopher, Marriage and Morals, 1929

In America everybody is of the opinion that he has no social superiors, since all men are equal, but he does not admit that he has no social inferiors.
Bertrand Russell, Unpopular Essays, 1950

Here is the difference between Dante, Milton and me. They wrote about hell and never saw the place. I wrote about Chicago after looking the town over for years and years.
Carl Sandburg, US poet

The 100% American is 99% idiot.
George Bernard Shaw, Irish playwright and critic

The American male doesn't mature until he has exhausted all other possibilities.
Wilfred Sheed, US writer, Office Politics, 1967

In the four corners of the globe, who reads an American book? or goes to an American play? or looks at an American picture or statue? What does the world yet owe to America's physicians and surgeons? ... Who drinks out of American glasses? or eats from American plates? or wears American coats and gowns? or sleeps in American blankets? Finally, under which of the old tyrannical governments of Europe is every sixth man a slave, whom his fellow creatures may buy and sell and torture?
Sydney Smith, British clergyman, essayist and wit

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose that's just the risk he takes.
Adlai Stevenson, US statesman, diplomat and lawyer, 1952

New York is a city of 7,000,000 so decadent that when I leave it I never dare look back lest I turn into salt and the conductor throw me over his left shoulder for good luck.
Frank Sullivan, US writer

I found there a country with thirty-two religions and only one sauce.
Charles-Maurice Talleyrand-Perigord, French statesman and diplomat

America ... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.
Hunter S. Thompson, US journalist, Fear & Loathing on the Campaign Trail, 1972

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair.
Arnold Toynbee, British historian

Speaking of New York as a traveller I have two faults to find with it. In the first place there is nothing to see; and in the second place there is no mode of getting about to see anything.
Anthony Trollope, British novelist

I heard an Englishman, who had been long resident in America, declare that in following, in meeting, or in overtaking, in the street, on the road, or in the field, at the theatre, the coffee-house, or at home, he had never overheard Americans conversing without the word DOLLAR being pronounced between them. Such unity of purpose ... can ... be found nowhere else, except... in an ant's nest.
Frances Trollope, British traveller and writer, A Commentary of Travels on a Mississippi Steamer, 1832

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practise either of them.
Mark Twain

The hatred Americans have for their own government is pathological ... at one level it is simply thwarted greed: since our religion is making a buck, giving a part of that buck to any government is an act against nature.
Gore Vidal, US writer

The Americans, like the English, probably make love worse than any other race.
Walt Whitman, US poet

It is absurd to say that there are neither ruins nor curiosities in America when they have their mothers and their manners.
Oscar Wilde, Irish author, playwright and wit

Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.
Oscar Wilde, Irish author, playwright and wit

In America the President rules for four years and journalism governs for ever and ever.
Oscar Wilde, Irish author, playwright and wit

When good Americans die, they go to Paris; when bad Americans die, they go to America.
Oscar Wilde, Irish author, playwright and wit


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